Mystery solved: Red Sox pitcher David Price is actually a Gremlin

I bet you remember the 80’s movie classic Gremlins. Clever family flick that I shared with my 9 year old twin girls recently.

You might recall the three simple rules that must be followed with Gremlins at all times:

No bright light
Don’t get them wet
never feed them after midnight, no matter how much he begs

Of course they never follow these rules and chaos ensues.

Well, sometimes life imitates art and on The Drive radio show last week on 92.9FM in Bangor, Aaron Jackson, Mark Paulette and I made the life changing discovery that David Price is in fact a Gremlin.

He’s complex, sometimes loving but often grouchy. And theres a complex set of rules that the Red Sox must follow or chaos indeed will ensue.

Sure, all is well if you let Price pitch at home, on a beautiful day, against a vastly inferior opponent such as the Blue Jays were this past weekend. He’ll do fine and be a joy to watch.

But there these rules must be followed or fans will pay the price.

For instance, he can not be asked to pitch in cold weather. Or his fingers will tingle and he’ll leave the game early.

He can not be asked to pitch in extreme heat or his allergies will kick in and he wont be able to perform.

And most importantly he can not be asked to pitch in Yankee Stadium. Ever. It will be a disaster.
Price is 0-5 in the Bronx as a member of the Red Sox. Last time out he gave up 5 homers in less than four innings.

So please, I beg of you Alex Cora, follow the rules for David Price. And just perhaps we won’t have to sit through a Gremlins equal to what we saw in New York.

Jeff Solari

About Jeff Solari

Jeff Solari is currently the co-host of the Drive airing from 4-6pm on 92.9FM, The Ticket in Bangor. He is the president and founder of the Sports Chowdah, Maine’s only free, weekly sports e mail newsletter. Recently, he has been a contributor and fill-in host on the Downtown show and for the past two years has been the 5 p.m. host of The DRIVE on 92.9FM in Bangor.