These sports turkeys deserve to be dropped from a helicopter

It’s one of the classic sitcom episodes of all time. The clueless radio team of WKRP in Cincinnati try a Thanksgiving Day promotion that involves giving people free turkeys. But they do it by dropping the live birds from a helicopter over a crowded shopping plaza during a live broadcast. Obviously it does not go well for anyone involved.

So in the spirit of clueless radio people, here are a few turkeys from the sports world that we think should be dropped from a chopper.

Kyrie Irving

This bird flew the coop and thank goodness he did. Kyrie now has a phantom shoulder injury, has moodily sat out the last 4 games and now says he won’t play the next 3, including what would have been his return to Boston. As god as my witness, I thought this bird was going to fly like an eagle as a Celtic, but instead he was a joker, smoker & midnight toker who took his loving on the run.

The entire Red Sox bullpen

I don’t need to know their names. Aside from Brandon Workman, start over like the Indians did in Major League. I don’t care if most of the guys on the replacement list are dead because the unit the Sox housed in the right field stands never even had a prime.

Pablo Sandoval

The Sox dropped this overstuffed Butterball from 37,000ft in 2017, but are still serving him up $5million this year. Look, who doesn’t love Thanksgiving leftovers, or an entryway full of pies. But enough is enough, you can’t go back, to even the most generous family members, and ask for their leftovers two years later! Statute of limitations has run out, the Red Sox never should have paid this turkey by the pound.

People Who Think The Pats Should Bring Back Antonio Brown

Saying this tool should be put back in Bill’s shed is embarrassing. Calling him a turkey is an insult to that breed of birds across the planet. It was stupid to bring him in the first time and even as pedestrian as the Pats offense looks thee days, adding this whacko would be just plain dumb.

The Cheaters known as the Houston Astros

These guys reportedly don’t want to work, they just want to bang on their drum all day. Or garbage can. The Astros have been accused of stealing signs by using a camera in centerfield and relaying messages to batters by banging on a garbage can in their dugout. Wow. Former Astros bench coach and current Sox manager Alex Cora could be implicated. If he is maybe he should be kicked to the curb or at least tossed from our chopper with the other turkeys.

By Sterling Pingree and Jeff Solari
www.sportschowdah.com

Jeff Solari

About Jeff Solari

Jeff Solari is the president and founder of the Sports Chowdah, Maine’s only free, weekly sports e mail newsletter. Recently, the Mount Desert Island native was the co-host of "The Drive" on 92.9 FM in Bangor.